Last week I talked about designing your books to focus on the things that your readers value and to minimize the amount of effort you put into adding things that they don’t.
One of the things that my readers seem to particularly enjoy are my descriptions of Hell as a giant dysfunctional corporation.
I wound up cutting the scene below from my first book because my editor felt that it put too much emphasis on Lilith, who was a minor character in that story.
I recently pulled it out to look at because she is the central character in my work-in-progress, but it doesn’t work for this book, either, because I’m trying to redeem her and this scene doesn’t help with that effort.
Even so, the scene was a lot of fun and deserves to see the light of day, or at least the light of blog.
“If you could just sign right here, sir.” Hovering behind the red granite counter by means of his substantial wings, Focalor pushed a quill and a three-part form toward Belial. The griffin had run the Travel department since time immemorial.
Behind him, row upon row of men and women sat at cramped desks, arranging various demonic missions. Their chairs were bolted to the floor six inches too far back from their desks, forcing them to hunch forward to reach their keyboards. After just a few minutes, their backs burned with the strain and they worked twenty-hour days. Continue reading