I’m currently working on the section of The Demon Wore Stilettos where our protagonist (I’m not even going to try to get anyone on board with thinking of Lilith as a heroine at this point) has discovered that she’s pregnant. It’s what she’s always wanted, but now she’s faced with figuring out how she, a single demon whose job requires extensive travel, can raise a child on her own.
As she comes to terms with this reality, she visits Hell’s daycare center, where things are just as topsy-turvy as they are everywhere else in the underworld. I had some initial ideas about what such a nursery would look like–kids running with scissors, kids playing with matches–but I wanted a broader range of ideas, so I put out a call for suggestions in my September newsletter.
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I won’t be able to use all of the great ideas people submitted, but they made me laugh, so I’ll share them with you:
- Projectile vomiting–complete with 180 degree head turns.
- Running around on the ceiling
- Playing mean pranks on the teachers
- Playing with cleaning solutions and chemicals
- Clogging toilets
- Sniffing glue
- Cutting each other’s hair
- Watching porn
- Stealing the teacher’s wallet
- Putting goo on things
- Grabbing toys from each other and banging each other over the head with them
- TV on 24 x 7
- Junk food and caffeine all day
- Peanuts everywhere
- Classes in bullying, lying, stealing and manipulation
Some of these ideas remind me of early Dennis the Menace cartoons, back when they were a lot edgier than the sanitized version that made it to the big and little screens. (I remember a D the M cartoon where Dennis has placed matches between the bare toes of his sleeping father and, with a grin of pure devilment on this face, is about to light the first match.)
Or Charles Addams cartoons like this one.
Do you have any other ideas you’d like to throw out?