I just had a long, lovely holiday at home, thanks to the Emperor’s Birthday, but you know how when you were a kid, and you spent the whole weekend doing nothing, and then suddenly the Sunday Afternoon Boredom hit? After In Search Of (a TV program devoted to exploring mysteries of history and fiction, like Atlantis or Bigfoot), there was NOTHING to do until Lawrence Welk. And that is a measure of how dull and deadly the afternoon was, when Lawrence Welk and his Champagne Music was something to look forward to. (I’m not dissing LW; I’m just saying that the show was no American Bandstand.)
OK, back to this century. What with the internet and DVDs and everything, the blahs didn’t really hit until Friday afternoon, when I realized that I’d WASTED an entire week. This was going to be my chance (one chance in a lifetime, I believe I said in last week’s blog) to try out a new lifestyle.
Well, I tried out a new lifestyle, all right – one of laziness and sloth. And I didn’t like it.
But I can’t have been doing NOTHING, right? It’s all too easy to feel like we’ve done nothing, when actually we’ve done tons of little things that move our goals forward in small ways. I actually thought on Saturday that maybe I should journal my accomplishments so I could reassure myself when the Sunday Afternoon Boredom hit. But, that went by the wayside by about 10 a.m. Saturday morning, filed with the other Great Ideas that I had for the week.
Fortunately, though, I took screenshots through the week, so I can trace a few accomplishments.
1. Research for last week’s blog. Yay! I did another blog post! Hooray! I’m doing another blog post! Don’t say I never did anything for the Internet.
2. Found a picture of a “cat papa” who put his cat in a sling and continued to work on the computer. Devised a sling for my cat, and was able to ride my exercise bike in comfort for the first time since October. So, now we’re up to 1 1/2 blog posts, a cat sling, and exercise. (The exercise is actually a big thing for me; I’m naturally sessile.)
3. Ukulele chords for Peter, Paul and Mary’s cover of “Lemon Tree”. This was connected to school, where one of my teachers created the passive voice sentence: “It is said the taste of love is bitter.” It’s been driving me crazy – I’m sure that’s an actual thing! Closest thing I could come to, though, was “I fear you’ll find that love is like the lovely lemon tree.” Well, this was a failure on several counts. Did not find Wise Old Saying. Did not find more passive voice. Did not practice ukulele. Boo.
4. “the sexy lamp test holds ‘If you can replace yr female character with a sexy lamp & the story still basically works, maybe u need another draft.’ If you can replace your ethnic minority character w a teddy bear that says ‘I believe in you!’, that may also need another draft.” – Ellen Kushner, quoting and condensing Helen Gould on Twitter. Hooray! None of my current minority characters in any of my WIPs can be replaced by sexy lamps or teddy bears. Uh-oh: my sexy white man character in almost all my WIPs could be replaced by sexy teddy bears. Must think further. Current score: 1 1/2 blog posts, 1 kitty sling, 75 minutes on an exercise bike and one small step for the WIP.
(Kushner got it from Helen Gould at: https://blackfemgeekery.wordpress.com/2019/04/20/subtle-forms-of-racism-to-avoid-in-sff/ Recommended reading.)
5. “Every Dutch police car is equipped with a teddy bear to give children that are scared.” – Quite Interesting on Twitter. Hmmm. That must mean something, but I can’t assign any points to it yet.
6. Video chat with youngest, where I am relieved to see her well-organized fridge, and also discover that my phone can do a split screen chat (but I do not discover HOW to make it do that – I just hold the phone up to my ear until it toggles again). Again, I can’t score that.
7. Earthquake. Epicenter is right under our feet, practically, so it was long, loud and yet nothing fell down. Thought about restocking the earthquake supplies, but thinking doesn’t score any points this week. Only doing.
8. John Scalzi wrote a story about yogurt taking over the world. No points, but I think I’m on the right track with my writing.
9. Leonardo Da Vinci died in France in a really cute house made of white bricks and pink stones. Possible story seed here. Spiral staircases involved.
10. Found a great artist on Twitter. Have nothing for her to illustrate. She’s on Tumblr, too.
11. Found a crazy link between music and Japanese (and Chinese for that matter) imperial rituals. There’s a secret song that’s so secret, they kick out all the other musicians and dancers, then perform it for the Gods without making any sound. Mind Blown.
12. Hypochondria, horoscope check that tells me I’m in for a wonderful season if I’m trying to get something published, more Scalzi (who doesn’t outline, and doesn’t revise! Note to self: Don’t Be Afraid to Be Like Scalzi. But maybe create male pseudonym.).
13. YouTube screenshot of a very old Bowie song (new to me) where the first lines go: “A winter’s day, a bitter snowflake on my face. My summer girl takes little backward steps away. Jack Frost took her hand and left me. Jack Frost ain’t so cool.” Must write a story about Olivia’s old boyfriends.
14. “Please do not fall prey to the idea that any activity that does not measurably advance your career is somehow necessarily harming it. You have only this one beautiful life; do not avoid living it for fear that your total productive output might be less than the theoretical max.” – Katie Mack on Twitter (Throws out score sheet. Stops worrying about production until catches sight of the neglected piles of junk on the kitchen table. I can’t live like this, Katie Mack. Must keep score.)
Oh well. At least I got that cat sling thing figured out. One cat sling, three hours of exercise, two blog posts finished. Maybe I can do better when I go back to work and have to structure my time again. Have a great weekend, folks!