This post is supposed to be my monthly progress update, but:
- My web developer is on vacation, so my website is on hold.
- I’m neck deep in revisions to my first demon book based on the feedback I got from my editor, Karen Dale Harris.
- I’m also trying to rethink the plot of the second demon book and wrap my head around the premise for the third. So, lots of in-progress, just nothing completed to crow about.
So, instead, I’ll share the problems I run into when I write too sexy for my style….
Recently, I tried to write a scene where Jake and Taylor, the H/H of my Contemporary work-in-progress, play out a little bondage scene. They’ve just been to dinner at the home of Taylor’s boss, a real estate developer who’s trying to take Jake’s land by whatever means necessary. Jake dislikes him very much, On the other hand, Jake likes Taylor a lot, so he not only goes to dinner and behaves (reasonably) well, but even goes out and buys a dress shirt and tie for the occasion.
Why would he do all that? Because he was promised “positive reinforcement” for good behavior. While he was out shopping, he picked up some extra ties for just this reward. Taylor’s kind of a control freak, so allowing someone else to have that much control is a big step for her.
Sexy and fun, right?
Not as much as you’d think. Instead of a sex scene, it turned into a story problem: If Jake has four ties, one king-sized hotel bed and a 5’7″ girlfriend, will he be able tie her to the bed?
Let’s do the math:
Width of King Size bed (76″/ 2 = 38″) + Height of mattress and box springs (23″) = 61″
Taylor’s arm span (58″/2 = 29″) – length of her hand (7″) = 22″
61″ – 22″ = 39″ to tie down one wrist.
Length of an average tie: 62″
62″ – 39″ = 23″ That gives us 23″ of fabric to wrap around her wrists and the bed legs.
23″ / 2 = 11.5″
Her wrists are probably 7″ in diameter (Mine are 6″ and they may be the smallest adult female wrists on the planet. Why couldn’t that micro-sizing affect my hips instead?)
Assuming that the bed legs are no thicker than Taylor’s wrists, that allows us 4″ of cloth to make each knot. Doable, although the wide end of the tie will probably have to be folded vertically to make it work.
A king size bed is 80 inches long, approximately 13 inches longer than Taylor is tall, so he’ll need another 13 inches to bind her ankles.
So now he’s going to need 6 ties instead of 4. Unfortunately, Jake’s not much of a planner. I can’t see him figuring all this out ahead of time.
At this point, my really hot sex scene kind of collapsed on itself.
At this is why I can’t write erotica: there’s too much math.