Michaeline: April is the cruellest month

April is the cruellest month, breeding
Lilacs out of the dead land, mixing
Memory and desire, stirring
Dull roots with spring rain.

“The Wasteland” by T.S. Eliot

April can be a cruel month. The days, finally long enough again, make me feel

Girl holding lilacs outdoors.

April is the cruellest month, but after that come the lilacs! Via Wikimedia Commons

invincible, like I can do anything. Until I do too much, and sit still the next day, mindlessly letting YouTube grow roots into my brain.

The first quarter is over, and I wonder what in the hell have I done. It’s an illusion, of course. I’ve worked on my book nearly every day, pages of research to show for it. Yet when I go to write something in the manuscript, I realize I haven’t actually written anything since January. I’m dismayed, but the words shoot from my subconscious like crocus spouts. Green and fresh and not yet in full flower, but holding a lot of promise. Enough promise to make me forget the fallow months of February and March.

The second quarter stretches before me. There’s so much to do, it scares me and makes me want to go back into dormancy, under a fleece blanket somewhere. But that spring energy is still pushing me, pushing me out of my bed, and into the sunshine, watching the snow recede in the near distance.

April can be a cruel month.

A little later, in “The Wasteland”:

That corpse you planted last year in your garden,
Has it begun to sprout? Will it bloom this year?

Yes, I think perhaps it has. I think I see the blossoms beginning to peep out.

5 thoughts on “Michaeline: April is the cruellest month

    • (-: My plan is to keep working in April, and then I hope I’ll see some real results in May. It’s such a confusing time of year, especially for someone older and more experienced. So many vague urgings, so many memories of plans that failed and succeeded. Focus. (-: And I’ll keep off the internet until I’ve got a good chunk of scene down on paper.

  1. Spring is usually my best, most productive time, but this year, not so much. I’m waiting for that invincible April feeling – think my Girls are still hiding under the fleecy blanket. Hope I can coax them out into the light soon 😉 .

    Love the video. May your green shoots blossom into a glorious bouquet!

    • Here’s the part where I whine. It was a warm winter, relatively, for us, but such a snowy one. February and March were just dump-dump-dump, and we had more snow on the ground than I’ve seen in 25 years. Our yard was up to my ribcage at one point.

      But the last two or three weeks have been gorgeous, and the snow has been disappearing faster and faster. The receding snow revealed the crocus bed by the road, and they were already green and striving. And now they are blooming! About a week early, I think.

      So if nature is any indication of my inner strengths, I think it could be a good year.

  2. Pingback: Nancy: The Month of the Phoenix | Eight Ladies Writing

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